"Till death do us part," and "happily-ever-after" happens to couples who
are willing to do what it takes to turn their ideals into reality. This
means getting up every morning for the rest of your lives determined to make
your best expectations come true.
When the marriage ceremony is over and the magic of the honeymoon takes
hold, most couples think this phase will last forever. Indeed, they take the
first flush of marital bliss for granted. Mistake no.1.
It won't happen on its own. Yes, irritating as it sounds, you have got to work at marriage.
Many young people wonder "Why can't it be effortless and
fun?"
Well, work might well be the most important four-letter word in marriage.
It takes everyday effort and enjoyment in the relationship to make
togetherness happen. What is important is partners need to be aware of each
other's expectations and work towards fulfilling them. Marriage needs
constant nurturing.
Any marriage is the blending of two families, not just two individuals. A
partner's expectation of marriage often reflects his or her family
background. It is what a person has been accustomed to and the traditions
that reflect in the expectations. It is very important to understand the
background in dealing with situations. What may be totally irrelevant to you
may be a matter of concern in your partner's life.
A willingness to adapt is very important to the success of a relationship
because circumstances can change. It is very essential to be happy within
one's self before trying to share your life with another. This contentment
within you will surely reflect in the relationship you share with your
partner. To build an effective relationship, one must learn how to adapt to
change and cope with stress. Be optimistic; hope and belief in good things
work miracles.
Discussing important issues like money, children, role expectations, sex,
and in-laws before marriage will help set the stage for a smoother
relationship. No matter how much alike you think you won't always see eye to
eye on every subject or issue. Having differences of opinion doesn't make
either of you wrong, just different. Regardless of a spouse's intelligence
or personal strengths, he or she does not have the ability to read the
partner's mind. Communication is essential and it can often avert great
disasters.
It's important to have a realistic view of this person you married. No one's
perfect. That expectation should be the first to go. But it's more than
that. When we marry we get a particular combination of qualities. Maybe your
spouse is too quiet and you would prefer someone more outgoing. You have to
appreciate that's part of the package you chose. Change one piece and the
whole puzzle doesn't fit. No human being can fulfill all your fantasies.
Wake up, a fantasy is just that.
Couples who take the time and effort to educate themselves about quality
relationships and who practice effective communication skills in their
interactions with each other have a greater likelihood of experiencing a
satisfying, fulfilling relationship together.
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